Natasha and Ayahuasca: Day 4

I woke up feeling super refreshed and we also had a breakfast visit from the Ship Bo Tribe. The tribe also brought some items for purchasing out to us and as like with the Bora Tribe we only got a few pieces of jewelry.

Today was also Mud Bath day which is where we are bathed in mud and get to run around and wait for it to dry. It is meant to help detox the body by drawing out toxins. It does make your skin feel amazing afterwards and we got lots of mud photos!

Following lunch we got to visit Don Lucho’s perma-culture farm. During an Ayahusca ceremony in the 1980’s, the plant spirit urged Don Lucho to work with the plants this led to him developing a better way to grow and cultivate them. Traditional agriculture was destroying the natural environment and was not sustainable such as the slash and burn method. Based on this and the messages he received, Don Lucho dedicated himself to working with each plant and learning what benefits they had and how to diagnose and heal them. Kapitari is surrounded by various plant species and also has a nursery for seeds and saplings. Don Lucho has now created an amazing ecosystem and continues to work to grow and sustain the farm by positively contributing to Mother Nature. We also had the opportunity to try some of the Cacoa that Don Lucho has grown and it was to die for. Super sweet and tasty and I wanted to eat the whole sack of Cacoa. Majority of the food eaten during Kapitari comes from the farm and only some comes from the mainland Iquitos. Living at Kapitari is truly amazing. It is incredibly peaceful and it feels a million miles away from the real world. I felt like I could live there forever.

The time seemed to pass too quickly on this day and it is now time for the plant bath and prepping for the ceremony. The ceremony takes place as usual at 7pm. Each ceremony the Ayahuasca works quicker than the last. I told Mother Ayahuasca that this would be my last ceremony and to give me everything I needed to see. I laid down almost immediately after drinking and was feeling very at peace.

My visions started with a mix of crocodiles, snakes, worms and a jaguar that briefly popped its head in to be seen. The jungle was so loud and I felt like it was trying to talk to me. I then thought how awesome it would be if we could train our ears to pick up the low frequency sounds of the jungle that we could eventually hear the voices of plants and animals. In my head I felt like I was almost able to achieve this and I felt I could hear voices of small jungle animals and plants. Then my visions change and I am having visions of people on the retreat doing general activities and it was like I was seeing them through my eyes but also their eyes. It was like I was seeing two different viewpoints and two different scenes. I was seeing how others see situations to how I see them. After this, the visions stopped for a moment and I started to feel very unwell. I had an immediate urge to get to the bathroom and I felt I wasn’t able to stand. I had to force myself to stand and as I stood up I felt super uneasy on my feet. Thankfully, I was two mattresses away from the facilitator who was able to help me to the bathroom. I got the most intense cleanse and felt like I was in the bathroom for ages. I do not even know where it all came from given the diet since we arrived at Kapitari. The facilitator helped me back to the ceremony and I purged a bit and then laid down. My visions returned and there was lots of ‘we’ words. I was talking to a small person, which I believe was myself as a child, and she constantly said ‘we’. After a while I realised she wasn’t talking about me and her and I asked her who was ‘we’. She point up and said ‘us’. I then had this vision of my body as a vessel/balloon like figure that was vertical and asleep and was floating on a string. She went on to say that she was connected to the main ‘us’ by this string she held on to while we were walking and talking. She said that she couldn’t let go and that if she let go we would be disconnected and couldn’t go back. It was important that she didn’t let go. Basically there were three versions of me and I gathered that I was almost like a astral projection of myself in this world with the child me and my main vessel was back on Earth. I wasn’t exactly sure where we were, it felt like we were just walking a path and it seems like a desert area and almost like it was just us and nothing else around. I also do not know what this meant. The Ayahuasca wore off and the ceremony was over. We headed back to our Tambos and that night it took a while to get to sleep. I just stayed up listening to the jungle sounds and wondering about what it all meant.

Although this was my last ceremony for the week Kapitari does offer four Ayahuasca ceremonies. David and I opted to only do three ceremonies in the end. Thus, this was our last ceremony for the retreat. It turns out we weren’t the only ones to opt out, two others in the group opted out of the last ceremony too. We were criticized by another Kapitarian for sitting out the ceremony. I was listening to my body and I felt it was the right choice for me. My stomach was not handling the constant purging and it felt raw and painful. I was also worried about my Ulcerative Colitis being affected and really didn’t want that to come out of remission. Everyone has a choice and this was mine.

What does it all mean?

I assume the first part was about remembering that it is important to listen and remembering that there are two or more sides to situations, what I see and what others see and that it isn’t always one person’s perspective on what happens. I still am super unsure about the three me situation. It was actually probably the most fascinating vision I had and I wish I knew what it meant.

N. X

 

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